Thursday, September 26, 2013

F is for...

When it comes to school, F is for FAILURE.
I thought I would write a little bit about my "back to school" experience and what has changed in the last few months. Remember in this post where I shared my decision to go back to school to further my education and expand my current job skills in cytology??? Well, I have to say that school was a huge failure for me and it's hard knowing that I tried so hard, but just couldn't hang with the smart kids.
To be perfectly honest, I made the decision to go back to school in something that I am NOT truly passionate about. I figured that I'm not getting any younger and that going back to school in the field I am already in is a no-brainer, but I failed. The truth is, I find laboratory science very interesting and there are many avenues to learn and grow, not to mention a guaranteed job when school is done, but it's just not for me. 
Over the summer semester I studied like I've never studied before. I was all about attending every single class and I even got someone to run in RAGNAR for me because I didn't want to miss class, something I NEVER would have done in the past. I was studying very hard on my own, having regular group study sessions, and even taking on a private tutor, but the information was hardly clicking.
It's hard for me to admit defeat and to not succeed. I remember talking to a co-worker and my boss about my school troubles and they were floored at how poorly I was doing. It's embarrassing to not be able to follow through with something that you thought you could do. I not only thought I could do it, I thought I could do it well - boy was I wrong. After the semester ended, I decided I needed to take a step back and analyze what I really want to do and how I will get there. As far as school is concerned, I'm putting on the brakes for now and enjoying the things that really bring me joy. Lately I've been having fun traveling, biking, taking photo's, cooking, weight lifting, car buying [I will get to that later] and spending any amount of time with H. Life is good.
Hope you are having a great week.
Until next time,
Happy Trekkin'.